Note: The following post is an excerpt from the introduction of my forthcoming book, “Unraveled: Finding Joy When Your Plans Come Undone.”
I paced across my bathroom floor. I turned; I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror. I paced again. I locked the door so my five-year-old couldn’t come in. I couldn’t believe it. “Oh my Lord.” Those words were all I could manage to utter. Over and over again.
“Oh my Lord! Oh my Lord! Oh, my Lord. Oh – MY LORD!”
My next thought—he needs to know. I had to call him.
The phone rang and rang. He wasn’t picking up. My heartbeat faster. My palms were sweating. I could barely breathe. I felt as though I was going to collapse. Panic set in.
“Oh. My. Lord.”
I pressed the call button again. One ring, no answer. Two rings… and a click. His voice was soft. “Hey babe—what’s up? I’m in a meeting.”
I couldn’t speak. I had no words. I began to choke up as I tried to get the words out from deep within my chest. I had to use every fiber of my being to try to utter the words. I sensed his concern as his tone quickly changed. “Are you okay? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
“No,” I sputtered. “I’m [insert expletive I never say but flew forth like a seasoned sailor] PREGNANT!”
Now, let me just pause right here for a moment. Maybe you’re completely judging me. That’s okay. But maybe you too have felt this surprising and strange emotion before. Or perhaps you’re thinking, “Woah, I thought this book was about being joyful!”
Please hear me, friend. You must know, I love Jesus. And I rarely—okay sometimes—utter a foul word. I grew up pretty darn sheltered, never hearing them, and my introverted personality didn’t really allow for it—plus, I just didn’t ever like those words. I thought it made someone sound, well if I’m being honest, trashy. And you’re right—that’s totally judgy.
But in this moment, this very particular and pivotal moment in my life, when it was the last thing I expected, I got trashy REAL quick.
Now going back to this “Oh my Lord” moment—many women I know in my general circumstances would be overjoyed! Many women, even some very close to me, have prayed earnestly and desperately for this type of blessing to take place in their lives for years and still hope and pray for that day to come.
At the time, I was in a (mostly happy) marriage, in my young 30s, and had other healthy kids (PTL), so this one should be no different—babies are a blessing, right?!
Unfortunately, at this moment of my life, I did not see it through that lens. I could not see it.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. I mean, I know HOW it happened, but it wasn’t SUPPOSED to actually happen.
You see, like many couples, we were making plans for our future. We had been blessed with three amazing, beautiful, healthy boys. Our oldest at the time being nine years old, our middle son was six, and our youngest was three.
We were happy—content—overjoyed with this bunch of boys. I fully embraced the fact that I was a #boymom and I wouldn’t change it for anything.
And so, with this happiness and contentment, we began to make plans for our future. Well, you know what they say, “Best laid plans…”
…Part II to come next week!
In my journey, I’ve wondered: where do I find joy? Is it possible to create joy? And how can joy be factored into my every day life?
These are the questions I want to explore with you, learn about, and apply to our everyday lives on this journey together!
So I want to know – are you a busy mom who’s searching for more time in your chaotic schedule so you can be purposeful and find that joy your soul longs for?
If so – I’ve got you covered! That’s why I created my FREE Time-Savvy Supermom Guide that includes my Five Simple Shortcuts to help you take back your time AND take care of yourself & your family in the process.
Click here to get your FREE guide now!
Each shortcut includes easy-to-incorporate steps and I’m so sure this resource will help you discover hours in your day that you didn’t think you had!
I love hearing from ya, so share in the comments which shortcut you’ve tried and how it’s helped you break free from the overwhelm, get rid of the mom-guilt, and experience more joy every day!
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