If you’re subscribed to my newsletter, then you read about how September didn’t quite go the way I’d planned. (Recurring theme around here!)
And if you’re having a tad bit of fomo right now – don’t worry. I got you! Here’s a quick recap to bring you up to speed.
This past month was a challenge to say the least. Our family went through illnesses, broken bones, ER visits (unrelated to the broken bones), and other not-so-fun adulting things.
Through all of it though, I’m learning to trust God more and more despite my circumstances. I’m also continually learning ways to show myself grace in those hard moments.
I still struggle with and wonder, why does it feel easier to give grace to others, but so hard to give and then receive it for yourself? I can easily say to a friend who has to cancel our lunch date, “Don’t worry about it – it’s okay!” But when I have to cancel on someone, I feel shame and guilt over it.
This past week, in addition to these unforeseen circumstances, I felt overwhelmed by all the other typical life things: work demands, dirty dishes piling up, kids activities. Since it was an unusually difficult week, I made some particular choices as I moved through my days. When I finally got a moment to catch my breath Friday morning, I sat down and realized I did five things.
I thought these might be helpful for you for whenever you find yourself dealing with difficult or out-of-the-norm situations in your own life. If you find yourself feeling guilty over not getting things done, or anxious about missing deadlines, or you want to cry because you’re simply overwhelmed by your circumstances, I have good news for you – there is room for grace.
I want to share 5 things you can do right now to shake off the guilt and bring in grace for yourself:
CLEAR YOUR CALENDAR
This one is fairly simple. I canceled and/or rescheduled appointments. I had a full week, too, with multiple zoom calls each day. But guess what? I wrote one short and sweet email, that I then copied and pasted to let people know I had a family emergency and that I needed to reschedule with them, and you know what? No one was mad at me for it! Haha! And don’t worry about trying to reschedule with them right there in the moment, you don’t have the time or brain energy to think past today. Simply tell them you’ll reach out to find a new date and time as soon as you come up for air. Life happens to everyone. Most people understand and have empathy – especially when it’s totally out of your control.
PARE DOWN YOUR TO-DO LIST
There were definitely things I had planned on doing each day last week, but only about two of them actually happened. I looked at my “Must Dos” on my to-do list in my daily goal planner and I asked myself a really honest question: What will be the consequence if I don’t get this done today? And that meant I had to answer very honestly. If it really wasn’t a big deal, I scratched it. I’m convinced after using my planner system for nearly 4 years now, that 90% of the things we put on our to-do list really aren’t necessary, nor critical.
LISTEN TO YOUR BODY
This one might seem obvious – but when you’re busy taking care of everyone else around you, it’s easy to let the outside noise drown out what your body is trying to tell you. After our second ER visit last week and running on little sleep, I knew I needed extra vitamins, hyrdration, and lots of rest. Despite my best efforts, I still came down with a bad cold that I’m still getting over. But since I already did the first two things, I had no qualms about spending a day in bed resting.
ASK FOR HELP
Now’s not the time to be prideful – your friends and family love you! They want to know how they can help when you’re in a tight spot. Oftentimes we interpret it to be a nicety when someone says, “Let me know if I can help!” You can respond with something like, “Actually, we’re so swamped, we’d love it if you could help with the kids on Thursday afternoon!” We’re blessed to live close to family and asked (and gladly received) help when it came to the boys’ logistics and schedules.
GET SOME ‘YOU TIME’
By Friday of last week, I was physically exhausted, but I was also feeling mentally and spiritually drained. The disruption had left me without having done my normal morning routine and my quiet time and I was desperately needing a respite. After getting the kids off to school, I brewed a fresh cup of coffee, grabbed my Bible and notebook and sat out on my back deck. It was the best 30 minutes of the week. I listened to music, read, and journaled. The point? Get some time to yourself! Take a bubble bath. Go for a walk. Walk the aisles of Target. Whatever sounds relaxing and recharging for yourself. Bonus points if it’s part of your normal routine that you’ve been off of for a while. It will help you feel more “back to normal.”
A note for those of you who might be thinking…I should do these things! These five things are not meant to be a check list. But if you’re in the middle of what feels like a crisis, family emergency, or simply something that’s stopped you in your tracks, like getting sick, you do not need to add one more thing to your to-do list!
If you’re feeling like you need permission to give yourself grace, here it is: Friend, you can give yourself grace. I love the verse in Ecclesiastes about a time and a place for everything, and it’s true. Work can wait. The chores can wait. I want to encourage you to be present. Be where your feet are, right now. That’s the best place right now where you can find opportunities for joy and connection.
This is a topic I’m truly passionate about and something I love to encourage others in – which is one reason why I’m writing my very first book about finding joy. While I’m going through that process, I’m also grateful for a different opportunity to be part of a collaborative book that’s going to be released by hope*books publishing in January 2025.
This book will help you start off your New Year with having a gentle heart for yourself – instead of going full bore trying to take on the new season with grit and sheer determination – which is especially needed if you’re walking in a hard season.
In this collab book, I’ll be sharing a chapter with you on how you can create grace-filled goals, so when life doesn’t go the way you planned, you’ll have practical tools in your proverbial toolbelt to usher in grace for yourself.
I’d love to invite you to join my book launch team to help spread the word about this beautiful book that will bring so much hope to so many.
To join the team – it’s simple! Click here and I’ll be in touch with more fun details soon!
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